It’s time to unravel your limiting beliefs and become the leader this world needs
Limiting beliefs are the stories you tell yourself that prevent you from living the life you truly desire.
These are often subconscious programmings that stop you from applying for that job, sharing your ideas in a meeting or putting yourself forward for that project because you think you’re not good enough.
What are limiting beliefs?
Everyone has them. These are thought patterns and convictions that we have developed over time that influence the way we see the world, how we see ourselves and how we interact with other people.
These can be conscious thoughts that we might think, such as ‘you can’t trust anyone’, ‘I’m not the smart one in the family, Mary is’ or ‘money doesn’t fall from trees’. They can also be subconscious, and these are the ones that might be pulling the strings, impacting our decisions, actions and reactions. Our subconscious mind is responsible for 95 per cent of all our thoughts, feelings, reactions and behaviours.
How do we develop limiting beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are formed through conditioning. They are thoughts and beliefs we’ve picked up along the way, from our parents and family, from our social conditioning and from our life experiences. These beliefs have a negative impact on the choices we make, our ability to fulfil our potential and our ability to create the life we desire.
An example of condition we may have picked up from the family:
If we saw our parents struggle with money, bicker about finances or lament a lack of resources even though they worked hard and long hours, we might think create a story that money can only be earned through working and slogging in order to get ahead. If we’re not working really hard, to the point of exhaustion, money won’t come.
An example of conditioning from society is, assertiveness in boys is a trait of good leadership and in girls it’s considered ‘bossy’ and not a positive quality. We therefore struggle to speak up, and when we are assertive we find ourselves struggling with microaggression from colleagues.
In the case of life experience, this could be as simple as having a bad experience with public speaking, and creating a story in your head that you’re a really bad public speaker.
How do we unravel these limiting beliefs?
To learn how to unravel the limiting beliefs, it’s important to understand what’s going on in your brain – and why it’s not as simple as just saying an affirmation a few dozen times to start seeing an actual shift.
We think somewhere between 60,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day, and 90 per cent of these thoughts are exactly the same as the ones we thought the day before. Undoing our limiting beliefs won’t happen overnight.
A bit of brain science here for my fellow nerds: our brains are made up for at least 75 per cent water and over 100 billion neurons. Each neuron connects with other neurons: they can connect with between 1,000 and 100,000 other cells in what’s called synpases.
It’s these synapses, or neural pathways, that form our thoughts, habits and experiences. So, every time we repeat a behaviour, we strengthen that neural connection.
Every time a new memory is formed, synaptic connections double to 2,600 and unless this is repeated, the number of connections fall back to 1,300 in a matter of 3 weeks. This is why it’s so hard to form new habits and so easy to fall back into old patterns.
For my visually creative folks, just imagine pouring a line of sand from a pitcher. You go over the line, over and over again, and the sand line becomes thicker and wider. If you stop pouring sand down the line though, a little bit of wind over time will dissipate that line until it almost disappear.
So, then when we’re trying to unravel these limiting beliefs, it can be challenging because these are thought patterns that we may have been harbouring since we were children. These beliefs are often linked to strong emotions that triggered the origin stories in the first place.
Below are 5 steps you need to take to start unravelling your limiting beliefs.
Explore and write down your limiting beliefs
Think about an area of your life where you feel stuck. Write down all the limiting beliefs that come up when you think about achieving this desire. What excuses have you used in the past, what resistance comes up when you think about taking action to create this reality? Where have these beliefs come from? Let your thoughts flow without judgment.
Reframe your belief
Re-frame this into a positive. For example, if your limiting belief is: "I never have the support I need", your counter could be: “When I ask from a place of love, I receive. My family does care about me and my wellbeing, if I ask for support, they will be able to meet my needs. If I don’t ask, how can I expect them to know what I need?”
Thank the limiting beliefs
Once you’ve journaled through your limiting beliefs around this topic, it’s time to thank the limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs might be hindering you now, but they were formed as a protective mechanism to keep you safe. Whilst they are currently keeping you from living your best life, at one point these limiting beliefs served a valid purpose.
Forgive yourself and others
Beating yourself up for your limiting beliefs, or blaming your family and the people around you for teaching you those limiting beliefs will keep you in a place of stuck-ness. It’s time to forgive yourself for the thoughts you absorbed as "truth". Holding on to anger and resentment will keep you in a holding pattern. It's time to let it go, and get ready to soar.
Write a new story
If your limiting belief is, "I don't have time to live a healthier lifestyle", the opposite of this might be "I haven't made time to live a healthier lifestyle, and I value myself enough to start carving out time for me." The power of limiting beliefs and the hold they have over you, is because your behaviour confirms this belief. Start taking action to support your new belief and new story, and look for the evidence that support this.
Ready to feel empowered, calm and confident?
Book your free spot (only 3 available) and let me help you identify your core limiting belief, develop a clear plan of action to help you unravel it and provide you some additional resources to support you to be the empowered leader you’ve always been.
