Turning pain into purpose
It’s been awhile, so I thought it was time I (re)-introduced myself. My name is Amanda, and I’m a fur-mama to two gorgeous kitties called Oscar and Charlotte. I’ve recently moved back to Perth, after living in Edinburgh for almost 4 years.
I’m a recovering control-addict, ex-lawyer and once-upon-a-time corporate climber. For many years I was always striving for something more. The next job, the next boyfriend, the next achievement that I could tick off my list. I was a corporate lawyer by the time I was 23, I owned my own home by the time I hit 24 and I had a major burn out by the time 28 rolled around.
I numbed out by losing myself in my relationship, in shopping, in alcohol, in food, in filling my resume with ‘achievements’. I kept seeking to fill the void I felt too ashamed to admit was inside me with anything and everything.
Our relationships are our biggest spiritual assignments, and I was blessed to meet mine in 2014. Every trauma, and unclaimed shadow was reflected back at me though this deeply soulful relationship. My disorganised attachment style was the wound through which the light entered in. It was the kick in the butt I needed to turn back to the practices I had started in my early teens and abandoned in my early 20s.
When you ask, it is always given. So when things started to fall apart, when the anxiety and pain was so much that I could barely function, I turned to the Universe for help. I found a therapist to work on my attachment traumas, and I found healers and teachers that helped me turn my pain into something that was beautiful.
Miracles started happening as I shifted my energy, and I moved to Scotland in 2017. And as so often happens when things start going well, my ego started up. I didn’t feel like I needed my practices as much any more. I was living the life – travelling, making friends, adventuring in places I had always dreamed I would visit. It was Ibiza one weekend, and Budapest the next. Dinners at the castle, cocktail weekends and a certain degree of recognition in my work that I’d not experienced before.
Then 2020 happened. There is a weird sort of privilege in hitting your bottom, and in 2020 I hit my knees over and over until I was certain I would never be able to surface again. It was only then did I learn the true meaning of surrender. Of letting go. I recognised that even though I’d been practicing these spiritual teachings, I was still trying to control how things unfolded. And last year I was forced to realised that this false control was more damaging than the act of fully surrendering.
I was forced to turn inwards fully, maybe for the first time ever. I started learning more about the sacred feminine and masculine, and noticed how these energies were playing out in my life. My Mother and Father wounds were brought back to the surface once more for healing. I dived deep into the liminal spaces where the sacred feminine resides, and through this deep connection, started shifting and healing.
That’s why I feel called to do the work that I do and to share my journey with you. It’s a sacred privilege to be able to turn what was one of the darkest periods in my life into an act of service. It’s a blessing to be able to share with you, through my writing, my lectures, my workshops, all the tools and teachings that have helped me. I am honoured to hold space for those of you who are still battling the shadows, and it is with deep gratitude that I walk along this journey with you.
Need help reconnecting with your sacred feminine self?
Allow me to hold space for you as you rediscover and reconnect with your sacred self. Get in touch, I would love to work with you and share this journey with you.
