Breaking the bias this International Women’s Day
Today is International Women’s Day and we gather around the world to raise awareness of continued inequality between the sexes.
It’s been 119 years since the start of the suffragette movement in the United Kingdom, and 103 years since the 19th Amendment in the United States marked the first in a long fight for equal political rights for women.
What exactly have we achieved in the century and a bit since the fight for gender equality started?
According a study conducted by UN Women, as of 1 September 2021, there are still only 26 women who are serving as Heads of State in the 195 countries recognised in the world today. Only 21 per cent of government ministers are women, and there are just four countries that have achieved 50 per cent or more women in parliament in single or lower houses. Rwanda, Cuba, Bolivia and the United Arba Emirates leading the charge in this area.
The most commonly held portfolios are for women who do have some power in politics? Family, children, youth, elderly and disabled, followed by Social Affairs, Environemnt and Natural Resources, Energy, Employment, Labour and Vocational Training and Women’s Affairs and Gender Equality.
Not only do women continue to be underrepresented as voters, we continue to struggle to find representation in leadership positions across the civil sector, private sector and as elected officials. This is despite growing evidence for improved decision-making processes where women are involved. As an example, in India the number of drinking water projects in areas with women-led councils was 62 per cent higher than in those with men-led councils.
The corporate sector isn’t fairing much better. A study conducted by executive firm Heidrick & Struggles found that only 5 per cent of chief executives globally are women. Worst, the pandemic has disproportionately impacted women, pushing us back even further in the fight for equality. They are now estimating that it will take another 267 years to achieve gender parity in economic participation and opportunity.
The biggest issue for women coming into positions of power, according to the study was the burden of unpaid work (18%), such as childcare and household work, followed by unconscious bias (11%). There is still areluctance to hire women into senior positions for fear that she will take parental leave, and this attitude is not only coming from men on hiring panels, but from women too.
I began my career as a lawyer, and whilst I was studying I clerked in different legal firms from criminal law to family law to Legal Aid to gain on the ground experience. Each firm was unique but had a thread of commonality, of subtle conditioning that was painting a picture for a burgeoning lawyer that in order to get ahead, I would need to be one of the boys, but not too much like the boys. I still had to be feminine, without being too girly so that I would be taken seriously. I could be ballsy, but not so ballsy that I would appear aggressive.
Even though the majority of students in my cohort at law school were women, the majority of senior partners in each firm that I worked with were men. In each law firm the subtle confirmations were there. They could pay lip-service to being progressive and closing the gender equality gap, but the reality was that to get ahead you would need to play a game rigged by the patriarchy to support the patriarchy. Women in senior roles, the few that existed, had morphed and taken on the characteristics of their male colleagues.
When I moved into the mining sector, the indoctrination continued. At an internal workshop on improving our presentation skills I was told I was too feminine in my delivery, so would never be taken seriously in a boardroom unless I changed. My stance needed to square out, the pitch of my voice needed to lower. I was, in no uncertain terms, being told to be more masculine in order to be taken seriously. By the woman who was running the workshop.
Which flies in the face of having gender equality in the first place. The purpose of moving towards parity isn’t to have more women who think like men at the table. It’s to have more diversity. Women bring qualities of our own to boardrooms and governments, and that’s what’s needed now more than ever.
Internalised misogyny is the result of subtle conditioning by a society that undervalues the essence, qualities and gifts of the feminine. It undervalues qualities that are associated with feminine energy as weak, instead of recognising the strength in diversity.
And this view is internalised by those who identify as women to such an extent that we have internalised this prejudice ourselves. It’s been internalised to such an extent that our entire cultural and corporate systems are still trying to mould its female leaders into masculine versions of themselves in order to get ahead. In order to be taken seriously, to be independent, women need to subvert all ‘traditional’ notions of womanhood and femininity for fear of being perceived as weak or incapable.
“Internalised misogyny does not refer outright to a belief in the inferiority of women. It refers to the byproducts of this societal view that cause women to shame, doubt, and undervalue themselves and others of their gender.” — Suzannah Weiss.
We have a few thousand years of societal conditioning to unpack when it comes to internalised misogyny. The goal is to be observant of our thoughts, judgments and attitudes. How often have you heard, or even said ‘I’m not like other girls’ in order to distinguish yourself from perceived weaker feminine characteristics? Off the cuff remarks like, “that’s not very lady-like” and outright judgment of women who choose to either act within feminine stereotypes or subvert feminine stereotypes are all biases based on socially created gender norms.
With the theme of this International Women’s Day being around breaking the bias, it’s important as women that we look at the role we are unconsciously playing in perpetuating the cycle of unconscious bias keeping us out of positions of influence, competing against each other, instead of championing each other forward.
Become conscious of your internal voice
How often do you spend time judging other women for their choices, whether that be what they are eating, or what they are wearing, or how many partners they chose to date? Can you bring compassion and kindness to yourself if you do notice that you are judging other women?
Challenge yourself
Question and challenge your perceptions when you find yourself triggered by another woman’s choices.
If you find yourself triggered by another woman’s choice, or judging her for her decision, begin to question where this is coming from? What is it that’s triggering you about her choice?
Support other women
Recognise that diversity begins with our ability to choose what feels right for us. When we support other women in their choices, even if those choices aren’t aligned for you or your values, we create the space for greater diversity.
We need more tolerance and compassion in the world, not conformity. When we create a safe space to celebrate our differences, we create opportunities for collaboration instead of competition.
Explore your relationship with the feminine and masculine energies
Do you see soft, gentle, nurturing energy as weak? Do you feel repelled by societally defined ‘feminine activities’ such as reading romance novels or watching rom-coms or even shopping? Do you find yourself rejecting aspects of the ‘feminine’ to be taken more seriously in the workplace?
Explore your relationship with other women
Do you have strong female friendships, or do you have fre-enemies that leave you feeling down about yourself and inferior. Do you prefer being ‘one of the boys’? Why is that? Do you judge yourself against other women?
Want more help connecting to your feminine?
Allow me to guide you to rediscover and reconnect with your feminine energy. Get in touch, I would love to work with you and share this journey with you.
